Mourning Sun Read online

  Chapter 9

  I pulled into the drive in front of Mathias' home and knew immediately that something was wrong. The shades were drawn in every window. I knew Mathias, who loved the sun more than anything else in his life, would never close up his house like this unless he were leaving. I'd heard him say he was leaving as he'd stood at Kathryn's grave, but I hadn't believed he leave so quickly. He believed leaving would be the best thing he could do for me, but I'd never believed he'd leave without saying goodbye. Despite having come to the house to send Mathias away, my heart sank. I knew I was too late, that he'd already left.

  Unwilling to believe he was gone without proof, I banged on the door until my fists were bruised. I walked around the house to the deck outside the kitchen and peered through the glass wall. It was from there that I could see dust covers thrown over furniture. I could feel the emptiness of the house, the missing vibrancy of Mathias' presence. There could be no doubt about it. he was gone.

  I sat on the steps of the deck and watched the waves crash onto the beach. The wind whipped past, leaving me chilled, but I couldn't muster the strength to go back to my car to escape the weather. Mathias had left Highland Home. He'd gone without saying goodbye or giving me the chance to beg him to stay. I'd never have the chance to tell him I was sorry, to tell him that I loved him. He was gone and I was numb.

  When the sun sank below the horizon and the wind began to truly howl, I left Mathias' house and headed for home. At least Mathias' leaving meant he was no longer in danger from Xavier and his "pride." I may have lost him due to my own hard-headed refusal to own up to my mistakes, but he would live. I could accept that.

  "Where have you been?" Mom demanded after I closed the door behind me.

  "I had to...I went out to Mathias' house." "You went where?"

  Tawnya's head snapped up.

  "I went to Mathias' house, but he's...he's gone. The house is closed up. He probably went back to California."

  "He's gone?" Tawnya asked.

  I nodded. "Looks like it."

  "Good riddance." I rounded on my mother's partner. "You know what, Tawnya, I'm sick of your attitude toward Mathias. You don't know him. You don't know what he is like. You've made a judgment based on what he is, not who he is. What if everyone did that?"

  Mom looked at me as though I had suddenly grown a third eye. The blood drained from Tawnya's face, leaving her pale and shaking. I knew then that Tawnya hadn't shared the truth about herself with my mom. I could see she feared I would expose her secret.

  "Mairin, apologize to Tawnya immediately," Mom said.

  I shook my head. "I'm sorry for losing my temper, Tawnya, but I'm not sorry for finally speaking my mind." "It's all right, Loraine," Tawnya said when my mom began to object to my apology. "Mairin is right. I made a judgment of that boy based on something beyond his control and didn't accept Mairin's assessment of him. That was both cruel and unfair."

  Tawnya held her hand out to me and I hugged her. Her apology wasn't acceptance of Mathias, but it did make me feel a little better. If an angel could admit she was wrong about a vampire, maybe there was hope for the werepanthers in East Hampton after all.

  "I wish I knew what was going on with you, Mairin," Mom said, sitting down next to Tawnya. "Help me understand. Help me help you, honey."

  I sighed and sat across from them. "I made a huge mistake last September. I let fear rule me rather than believing in myself. I don't think anyone else can help me, Mom. I missed my chance to make things right and I need to move on."

  "What did you do, baby?" "Exactly what I just accused Tawnya of," I said. "I didn't have enough faith in Mathias to trust him to do the right thing and now that I know," I looked hard at Tawnya, "without a doubt that he has changed because he knew I couldn't live with is choices, I've lost him. I'm an idiot."

  "You're not an idiot," Mom said. "You're a teenaged girl. You're supposed to be unsure and have doubts. I'm sorry that Mathias is gone, but I'm glad you're coming back to us."

  I didn't know that I was going to come back the way my mom wanted me to, but she was right that with Mathias gone, I would have to move forward. "You've always put everyone else ahead of you, Mairin," Tawnya said. "As much as I may not care for Mathias, I'm glad that you finally saw that there are those outside your family who will put your well being ahead of their own."

  I grimaced. Mathias leaving for my own good still stung. "I'm kind of worn out. Is it OK if I go to bed?"

  "Of course, sweetie. Are you sure you don't want anything to eat first?"

  "No. I just need to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." In my room, I put on my pajamas and curled up on my bed. "I'm so sorry, Mathias," I whispered. "Be happy wherever you've gone to. Live in the sun, my love. My heart, my mourning sun."

  ***

  "She's not here," Mathias said, glancing around the darkened football field.

  "Of course not, leech," Braden sneered. "I knew I didn't actually need her to get you here. I figured why make more mess than necessary."

  Mathias' deep growl tore from between his lips. He paced under the goal post, his dark hair ruffling in the wind. At the other end of the field, Braden waited.

  "What's it going to be, blood sucker?" Mathias nodded once and stepped on the field. Around him, the night lit up with a dozen bright points of light. Feline eyes followed the movement of both boys, though I could see how they watched Mathias more closely than they did Braden.

  "Why have you involved the cats, mongrel?" Mathias asked. "Do you not believe you are the better man in this battle?"

  Braden's laugh was a harsh bark. "I don't need any fucking cats to take out one blood sucker. But I don't mind an audience."

  Mathias stopped on the fifty yard line and waited for Braden to join him there. "You wanted this battle, mongrel. What are your terms?" "Well, I suppose to be fair, I should tell you that those cats out there plan to tear out your throat if you get the upper hand on me, but they're willing to let us fight it out before they act."

  "Thank you for the warning." "I guess I also feel kind of bad for that girl of yours especially since I threatened to kidnap her to get you here. I'm willing to get Stephanie to back off if I'm the one who walks off this field tonight. In fact, I'll do one better than that. Steph's a bitch anyway. I'll make sure she leaves your girl and her family alone. I'll protect her, keep her safe until the younger one graduates. But I can't do any of that if I don't win."

  "So if I am willing to lay down my life, you will care for Mairin and Kerry?"

  "That's the gist of it, blood sucker. This isn't personal. It's business. You're dangerous. You're evil and you've got to go." Braden laughed again. I could see the blackness swirling in his aura. "Well, it's a little personal. I don't like anyone thinking they can take me on without consequence."

  "I hope you won't mind if I'm not selfless enough to go without a fight," Mathias said with a small, bitter smile.

  "I was hoping you'd say that."

  There was a coughing howl from one of the cats. "Oh yeah," Braden said. "If you happen to get lucky and kill me, the cats say they'll make sure your girl is safe."

  "After they've finished me off, of course."

  "Of course." Braden's smile was gleeful. "I guess I win no matter what."

  "It would appear that the deck is stacked in your favor, mongrel, but I find I don't mind the stakes. Shall we begin?"

  "Such a gentleman for a blood sucking, soulless monster." "Perhaps you might consider learning some manners for your next life," Mathias bowed before dropping into a defensive crouch. "Come get me, mongrel. I tire of talking."

  The battle raged up and down the length of the football field. The sound of the vampire and the demigod colliding shook the stadium to its foundation. Around the edge of the field, the cats lay waiting. Their luminescent eyes followed the battle closely. Their muscles remained tense as they awaited the moment when they would abandon their vigil or join the fray.

  Mathias charged Braden, stumblin
g as they drew close. Braden seized the advantage, roaring with triumph. The quarterback tackled Mathias, pinning his body to the ground while lifting Mathias' shoulders off the ground. Braden brought his fist back to land the killing blow, the one that would strip Mathias' head from his shoulders.

  *** I screamed. Over and over the anguish poured from my throat. I struggled frantically to free myself of the bonds of sleep. I had to get out of the dream so I could go to the football field and stop the insanity. My bedroom door flew open, and Mom flew into the room.

  "Mairin, my God, baby, what is it?"

  "Mathias," I screamed.

  Mom tried to hold me, but I fought her. "Let me go. You have to let me go. I might still have time to save him."

  "Mairin, honey, Mathias is gone. You said so yourself."

  "No, Mom. He's not gone. I have to go. I have to stop them."

  Finally free of the covers, I pushed against Mom until she released me. I was dressed and down the stairs before she knew what I was doing.

  "Mairin, it's the middle of the night. Where are you going?" The Nova roared to life. I shot out of the drive and onto our quiet little street. In my panic, I imagined I could hear the thunderous clash of the vampire and demigod as they battled on the football field two miles away. The Nova's tires squealed as I rounded the corner into the school parking lot. I laid down a wide swath of rubber, slamming the Nova into park and dashing for the stadium entrance.

  Chapter 10

  As I ran toward the stadium, the air was split by deep snarls and growls. It was like something out of the worst of my childhood nightmares, made even worse by the dream in which I'd already seen what was happening outside my vision. I turned the corner and skidded to a stop at the top of the stadium. Two figures in the dark below me ran at each other, throwing their bodies with no regard for injury. Only one goal was evident. They were going to kill each other or tear down the stadium trying. The boom when Braden and Mathias collided shook the stands and nearly knocked me off my feet.

  It seemed to take an eternity for me to reach the field. The booming crashes continued as I ran, seeming to come ever more quickly. As I ran, I prayed. Let me make it there in time. Let them stop before they killed each other. Let Mathias be OK. I was dizzy before I reached the railing at the foot of the stairs. I couldn't get my mind to wrap around the one most important thought. The one thing that kept repeating as I ran. What was I going to do to stop the vampire I loved from being killed by the demigod I hated?

  Surrounding the field, I could see the glowing eyes of the werepanthers. I knew Xavier and his pride were waiting to take Mathias' life if he were to get lucky enough to beat Braden. I also knew Mathias intended to lay down his life on this field in return for Braden's promise to protect me and my family. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let him fight this battle alone.

  Braden roared, drawing my eyes unwillingly to his face. I could see triumph in his eyes as Mathias stumbled. The quarterback tackled Mathias, pinning his body to the ground while lifting Mathias' shoulders off the ground.

  "No!" I screamed as Braden brought his fist back to land the killing blow, the one that would strip Mathias' head from his shoulders. The muscles in Braden's shoulders bunched and I saw the flash of glee in his eyes. I knew he had the strength and determination to kill Mathias, but did I have the faith to save him? I vaulted over the railing at the bottom of the stands and rushed onto the field. I passed one of the werepanthers. The cat growled, but I didn't stop. A sane person would have run screaming from the scene playing out on the football field, but then I'd never been sane when it came to Mathias. My only thought was to stop Braden before he could kill the man I loved.

  "Braden, stop," I gasped, leaning into the quarterback's body, blocking the blow he was going to throw. "You can't do this. It's wrong and you know it."

  Braden shook his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "He's evil, Mairin. He has to die." Braden pushed me out of the way. "Who are you to say who is evil?" I demanded. "You've never been particularly good to anyone I've known. How many kids did you beat up last year? How many players did you watch leave the field on stretchers because you used your strength against them? How many choices have you made that have resulted in the blackening of your soul?"

  Braden raised his fist again. His usually muddy green aura was a deep, pulsing black. He grinned, enjoying the carnage he wrecked on others. "Get out of here, Mairin. This is going to get messy."

  I looked into Mathias' deep, black eyes and saw resignation in them. He was ready to die because he believed his death would save me. I knew Braden wouldn't protect me or Kerry. I knew the moment Mathias was gone, the Golden Ones would resume their abuse of me and my family. I couldn't let Mathias give up his life. I certainly couldn't let him die thinking I couldn't accept what he was. He was a vampire. He killed to live, but then so did every other being on the planet, including me. He was a vampire, but he was also the most deeply compassionate person I had ever met. Mathias' lips curled in the tiniest of smiles and I knew I couldn't let Braden end this magnificent boy's life.

  As Braden brought his fist down, I threw myself at him. The shock of my sudden attack altered the direction of the deadly blow, but not the force of it. Bright star bursts flooded my vision and I felt at least one rib crack before I could do nothing but gasp for breath. Painfully, I rolled away from Braden, who leaped to his feet, snarling. He charged and I braced myself for the bone crushing pain I knew was coming.

  "No," Mathias roared, jumping up and throwing himself between Braden and me. He crouched over me and used his body to absorb the force of Braden's attack. Mathias lifted Braden, throwing him to the side. The snarling demigod rolled away from us.

  "Mairin, my love," Mathias whispered. "Why didn't you let him finish the job? I was ready to leave this existence if you didn't want me. Do you want me to suffer an eternity without you?"

  I cupped Mathias' face with my palm, shocked as I always was by the vibrant feel of him beneath my fingers. The months of separation hadn't dimmed the wonderful electrical current that always jumped between us. "I don't want you to suffer," I said. The pain in my chest bloomed bright and hot as I dragged in a breath to tell him the rest. He needed to know I'd decided. I loved him no matter what he was, no matter how he survived. I loved him because of who he was. I tried to speak, but the pain drowned my words in quicksand. Braden's blow had done more than break my ribs.

  Mathias' eyes lit with something I had never seen in them before. Always before, Mathias had looked at me with a reserved kind of resignation, as though everything that happened between us did so because it was his fate to live in pain. Now, however, the resignation was gone. In it's place was hope. That hope bloomed for an instant before being replaced with the wary look I hated most. I had wounded him so deeply that he didn't trust his own judgment. He was afraid to hope. That fear was worse than any physical pain I was in.

  "Get away from her, leech," Braden growled rising from where Mathias had thrown him.

  Mathias turned, crouching protectively over me. "Back off mongrel."

  "I will if you will," Braden said with a nasty sneer.

  "This will not end well, half-breed," Mathias said. "I have a reason to live now." "Then I'll take that too," Braden said. It took several seconds for Braden's threat to sink into my pain-numbed brain, but Mathias got there before me and he wasn't the only one. Behind us, the coughing growl of the werepanthers grew until I could feel the sound vibrating in my chest. Xavier's pride was getting a first hand lesson in the free will of all God's creatures. The more human combatant the pride had backed had just broken their cardinal rule. He'd threatened a human, and a helpless, injured one at that. Mathias was no longer the pride's only target on this battle field.

  The ripping growl that slipped between Mathias' lips was alien, something dredged up from the most primordial pits of fear. I closed my eyes to block out the vision of Mathias' beloved face and its link to that growl. I lay cold and shivering in th
e pale moonlight, searching for the strength to stop Mathias before he did something he would regret.

  "Mathias, no," I whispered. I lay my hand on his arm as I had done this morning. Could it really only have been fewer than twenty four hours before when I'd been able to stop him so easily? Now, the stakes were raised and my weak pleading had no affect on him. Moving so quickly I could barely see him, Mathias left my side and grabbed Braden from behind.

  "Do you truly wish to finish this, mongrel?" The soft silken tones of Mathias' voice were terrifyingly altered in his anger. The hair on my neck rose, tremors coursed down my spine, wrenching a scream from my lips. I saw Mathias' eyes flick toward me.

  "Mathias, please don't," I couldn't put any more voice to my words than a bare whisper but I knew he could hear me.

  "He would kill us both, Mairin." Mathias bared his teeth, leaning into Braden's neck.

  "No." Braden's eyes bulged in fear. He'd heard his death in the silky voice behind his ear. The quarterback's face suffused with blood and he pleaded with me silently. I couldn't let Mathias sacrifice anymore of his soul to this horrible boy. Behind Braden, Mathias' eyes were narrowed, his teeth bared. Strangely I did not fear Mathias, not even as he considered murdering Braden in front of me. My only thought was of protecting him from damaging his soul.

  "No," I whispered again. "Don't let him take anything more from you." Mathias roared in frustration. His jaw worked and I could see the thirst rise in his eyes. Braden had become prey and Mathias was a predator of such danger and efficiency that he could finish the burly quarterback without breaking a sweat or pausing for a moment's remorse.

  "Why does it matter what kind of monster I am?" Mathias demanded. "I'm a monster in your eyes, nothing else matters." I shook my head, struggling to breathe past the pain in my chest that had nothing to do with my broken ribs. "Not a monster," I whispered. "Never a monster."